My Father...My Son..

I remember the day you were born

so tiny, with perfect features, all fingers

intact, your tiny bud mouth open in a wail,

your eyes lost in the fierceness  of

your cry, waving your little fists in anger..

ready to take on the world…

I remember the feel of your little body

as it was placed in my rough hands

and the fierce sense of protectiveness

I suddenly felt for you, as you stopped

crying and stared into my face..the feeling

and responsibility of being your father…

I remember you learning to walk, holding

on to my fingers, your first birthday, your first

haircut, your first fall, the skinned knee

your magical smile, as I kissed it better..

the way you simply let go as you jumped into

my arms, trusting me to hold you…

I remember your first day at school, crying

to see me go, feeling I had abandoned you..

the bouts of fever which scared me, the sleepless

nights, your calling out for me in dreamy fright…

your unquestioning faith in me to put things right

your little hand in mine always pulling me on…

I remember how grown up you felt when

I let you go out on your own, when you dressed up

without help for the first time, when you learnt to

ride the bicycle, when you started deciding what

you want to wear, or what you want to eat…

making decisions as a part of growing up….

I remember all the various ‘firsts’ of your life

as they made you into an individual, slowly

taking your steps away from me…moving

into a different world, where I may not always

be around to put things right or kiss hurts away..

yet feeling fulfilled that I did the best I could do…

I remember the feeling of emptiness as you

left home in the pursuit of your dreams…

Now you are a father, you feel my pain and

understand all that I went through with you…

holding my gnarled fingers as I struggle to walk

You become my father, and I your son….

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April 17

hesitant to open

and face the world

too late to go back

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April 16

longing for

some personal space

crowded house

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I Miss You..

I miss you most

not when you are absent

or far away…

But when you sit next to me

a thousand miles apart...

cloaked in silence, remote

and distant, aloof and detached

shutting me out of your thoughts…

pushing me away, as you

retreat into a world, where

there’s no place for me…

leaving me alone...putting up

an invisible wall somewhere

between us….too high to scale

and thick with the strain

of pent up emotions…

feelings unspoken...

As I sit miserable and lonely,

Wishing I could say the words..

longing to be said….

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You and I

You are part of the sky

I am of the earth

You sail the heavens

I coast the waters

You belong to the night

I am a being of the day

You light up the dark

I bask in your glow

You move with a purpose

I drift with the current

You go about on your own

I need to have direction

You are surrounded by stars

I am grounded by reeds

You are not afraid of clouds

I am at the mercy of waves

You control the tides

I am dependent on them

You make your presence felt

I am not noticeable

You are universally needed

I am dispensable

You are beyond reach

I have to be available

You are the object of dreams

I am part of the scenery

You seem  unreal, a fantasy

I belong to reality

You can change moods

I am not allowed to

You wax and wane

I cannot afford to

You are one of a kind

I am ordinarily common

You are admired, adored

I am taken for granted

You look down and see the world

I look up and see only you

You are the gorgeous moon

I am just a dilapidated boat…..

picture courtesy:http://creativewriting.ie/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/prompt-101.jpg

April 15

hidden somewhere

in the folds of words

unspoken feelings

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April 14

bending under

the weight of pretence

your words

picture courtesy:http://tifholmesphotography.com/cphp/2012/04/april-2012-series-entry-14/

April 13

smiling at me

your upturned face

my golden sunshine

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April 12

into sunshine

from the shadows

you by my side

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April 11

deep grooves

left by memories

years flashing by

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April10

unfurling myself

to your fragrant passion

first love

picture courtesy:http://tifholmesphotography.com/cphp/2012/04/april-2012-series-entry-10/

April 9

constant companions

in an empty house

no longer alone

picture courtesy:http://tifholmesphotography.com/cphp/2012/04/april-2012-series-entry-9/

April 8

dreams unfolding

from the shadows

morning light

picture courtesy:http://tifholmesphotography.com/cphp/2012/04/april-2012-series-entry-8/

April 7

reaching

for the stars..

unwanted moon

picture courtesy:http://tifholmesphotography.com/cphp/2012/04/april-2012-series-entry-7/

April 6

 

eyes tightly closed

against the afternoon light

slumbering dreams

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April 5

caught in a

heavenly spotlight

rustling sentinels

picture courtesy:http://tifholmesphotography.com/cphp/2012/04/april-2012-series-entry-5/

April 4

lazy afternoon

thorns of your silence

piercing my words

picture courtesy:http://tifholmesphotography.com/cphp/2012/04/april-2012-series-entry-4/

April 3

morning light

reluctant to let go

of shadow dreams

picture courtesy:http://tifholmesphotography.com/cphp/2012/04/april-2012-series-entry-3/

April 2

bridal finery

stars in her eyes

white blossoms

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April 1

defining reality

in black and white

afternoon light

picture courtesy:http://tifholmesphotography.com/cphp/2012/04/april-2012-series-entry-1/

Ruminations of a mother

My child…there’s so much

I want to say to you..in the little time

left to us...You are growing up so fast

and soon you will leave behind

your childhood…and me…

Life is very much like this path

we are walking on now…full of

shadowy fears alternating with

sunshine breaking through…

Thundershowers and rainbows…

So many trails meandering..

meeting and crisscrossing your path

bewildering and tempting… before

turning away again….as you follow your

destiny and spread your wings…

I wish I could promise that I’d always

be there to walk with you…but

your path is yours alone and you are

on your own…no matter who comes

with you part of the way…

I wish I could protect you from

all the hurts you are going to receive

from this world…but you have to

take them on, bear them and let go..

growing in spirit…and becoming stronger..

You will make mistakes, regret some choices

but learn from them and move on…

leaving the past behind…learning to forgive

without holding on to bitterness…

or anger….to poison your mind…..

I wish I could say ‘live like this..or that..’

but life has no set rules, they keep

changing, as you define your priorities,

your passions….as you chase your dreams

and listen to your heart…

Your happiness is in your hands

don’t wait for anyone to come and

give it to you….create it from within

by being true to yourself and giving

all you have to each moment….

I could go on and on like this….

but you will learn more as life

starts teaching you…there will be times

when you will feel afraid and alone..

just hold on…as nothing will last…

Whatever happens, good or bad..

take it in your stride with a smile,

walk tall with your head held high…

hug your dreams, give them your colours

and never, ever give up…on yourself…  


picture courtesy:http://creativewriting.ie/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/prompt-14.jpg

March 31

pink blossoms

the toothless delight

of a baby's smile

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March 30

cradled 

in veined hands

life in amber

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