My First Born

You came into my life
When I least expected it
You made me feel needed
As I had never felt before
You helped me steady myself
As I drifted along in life
You helped me hold on
And gave me a reason to live….

Your smile lit up my life
And I lived for you –
Your spontaneous hugs
And unconditional love
Your gave me the priceless identity
Of being a ‘mother’ – your mother
And I felt so proud
To have you as my son….

My inexperience while bringing you up
May have hurt you at times
I may not have always
Understood you or your needs
But I have only wanted
You to be happy always
And have tried my best
To do what is best for you….

In temperament and taste
We do seem alike, and
I often see myself in you…
Trying to hide your fear
And hurt behind your anger…
Trying to act brave
And not letting anybody see
How afraid you are inside…

Now you have grown up
And sprouted your wings
You want to try them out
Chaffing at the bonds which hold you
Restless with the restraints imposed,
You are impatient at having to stay
Wanting so badly to just
Fly far away and be free…

But you are still my child
And I worry, afraid you might fall
Scared you might get hurt
By the selfishness and hostility around
Its so hard to let you go alone
Into the dangerous world outside
Knowing how precious you are to me
But not to anyone else out there…..

I know you are brave and fearless
And don’t give up without a fight
I also know you will make it
To wherever you want to go
You will reach your goal
And stand up tall and proud
You will rise from your ashes
My wonderful, blazing phoenix!!

Whatever you do
Wherever you go
You will always be
A part of me….
My son…..
My First Born…..

MY SPECIAL FRIEND

I wonder if you know how blessed I feel
To have you in my life as a friend…my special friend

You are always there to listen and hear me out
You help me hold on when I want to pull out

You help me keep in sight my various priorities
You help me see things in their proper perspective

You reflect my thoughts and help put them in order
You never judge me or take me for granted

You are there to share my laughter and my tears
You never make fun of my insecurities and fears

The warmth of your care and understanding is so real
It’s not what you say or do but how you make me feel

You make me feel good and proud about myself
You give me confidence and restore faith in myself

You accept me the way I am, I don’t have to act with you
I can just be myself and tell anything to you

You coax and encourage me to try out my wings
You help me face with a smile whatever life brings

You trust and support me in all that I do
And lift me up when I feel low or blue

You always cheer me up whenever I’m sad
And always take time to make me feel good from bad

You can see my soul though we are apart
You believe in me and listen to my heart

You walk by my side even in the rain
You hear my silence and feel my pain

All this may sound like sentimental mush
But I do cherish your friendship so much

You are one of life’s special gifts to me
My soul sister……My friend……

Words

Words spoken……

Having no form
Or substance
Echo for some time
Then float away
Trying to hold on
But so elusive…..
Actually heard?
Or imagined?
Leaving doubts
About their reality
Hard to recapture
The same feelings again………..


Words written…..

Having shape
And substance
Remain forever
As reminders
No doubts about
Their existence
They are real
They are there
For always
To read and remember
Evoking the
Same feelings again……….

Sorrow

Sorrow is great
Not when eyes pour forth
A flood of crocodile tears
But when a single drop
Loathe to leave its shelter
Hangs on the lashes
Glittering like a diamond!

FLAME

The yellow flame shone bright
Casting shadows in the night...
The dancing fire seemed merry and gay
Letting no one see where her misery lay...

Bright and happy though she appeared
Her heart was heavy with unshed tears
One by one they trickled down
Unseen, in the glare of her golden crown

With a burning heart and drops of tears
She wasted away before her years
The darkness, her foe, was also her friend
And waited to embrace her in the end..

A final burst, a flicker of light
And she merged into the night
The spiralling smoke, the glowing spark
Was all that was left in the dark

What happened to her?
Did you see her go?
Did the darkness come?
Or did the wind blow?....

...But she'll come again, happy and bright
Bringing light, pleasure and joyous delight
Whenever darkness frightens man
She helps out as best as she can

Silently, she suffers alone,
Her grief a mystery, ever unknown
Why does she suffer so?
Nobody ever seems to know.

The mask of joy is all one sees.....
....The searing pain is borne unseen!

Without You, Brother....

Climbing up the stairs
To an empty room
With a heavy heart,
So full of gloom

Feeling so lonely.
Confused and alone,
Reluctant to return
And come back home.

Feeling like an intruder,
A stranger on my own,
Without you, it just doesn't
Seem like home.

The cold indifference,
The veiled thoughts
The barbed words
And no one to talk to....

Though you are not here
Your presence is everywhere
In the mess on the table,
The clothes thrown around
The jumble of books
And cassettes everywhere.....

And I keep waiting .....
.... to hear your step on the stairs
and your rumbling laughter,
to see that smile on your face
and that twinkle in your eyes .....

I know all this sounds like mushy goo,
But brother, I really do miss you!